A divorce of an almost 20-year-old relationship, two kids growing up, the success and loss of my national radio talk show, changes in every family and friendship relationship I had, all with the loss of all I knew, treasured and had.
I had gained over 60 lbs at only 5’2″. Yikes! That is what negative thinking and allowing stress to run your life will do to you. I was depressed, sad, unmotivated, felt unkempt and isolated. WOW! That is as powerful as looking at the positive thinking thing as to see that negative affirmations will slowly kill you too.
Last year, I decided that if I could not change the world around me, (which we all know we can’t do); and if I had no control over the things in my life that were happening and falling apart, the one thing I did have control over was me and how I choose to react to everything happening around me.
I always say, “Change your perception, change your life”. I teach that to other people everyday, yet I was the one who needed to hear that the most. I went into myself, took a hard look around and decided I would control the one thing that I could control ME!
I decided to do an experiment with myself, at this point I felt had nothing else to lose. I would start telling and convincing myself I could control what I chose to think about myself. I could choose to remap my brain so that I knew I was powerful, strong, healthy and in control. I could choose to live again.
I don’t believe in accidents and synchronicity is a big part of my life. I “accidentally” came across a video of a man who inspired my next action and guided me to the next chapter of my life. From there, I purchased an at home DVD yoga program that fit into my way of thinking. So something I would never do by the way…just buy a random exercise video from an on-line website.
Before I knew it I ordered it, started doing it everyday and cleaned up my diet. I gave up my huge addiction to Diet Coke by convincing myself it was poison for my body. I started drinking only water. I started eating clean and as much organic as I could. I even started to cook what I could. Over last year, I changed everything. I lost over 60 lbs., not in 6 months but over the course of a year. I did that by telling myself, visualizing and knowing I was a strong, healthy, lean, person and there was nothing I could not do. I choose health over the other, and I am not even sure what to call the other so I leave it as a feeling with no name.
I even took it so far as to say to myself, “I know that I am going to talk to DDP”, the founder of the program I was doing. “I know he is going to call me.” I followed his community of people, wrote a couple of articles of how it was inspiring me to keep going, and BOOM, DDP called me. He called to tell me to keep going, loved my energy and thank your for the support to his community. I talked to him a couple of times after that as well. Awww….the mind is our greatest weakness and most powerful ally when used correctly and with love.
Over a year later, I am still down 60 lbs., and still going. I choose to eat a clean diet with nothing processed, white, refined, caffeine, alcohol, wheat, gluten, dairy (o.k. an occasional frozen yogurt with carob chips and almonds won’t kill you) etc. I choose health. When my brain takes me back to wanting a Diet Coke or wanting pizza; I go to what that feeling is and that thought, I ask why it is there, what it is trying to tell me and turn it around by knowing that this is my choice, I choose to feel strong and healthy instead.
Life is a choice. Everything we do is a choice. We are powerful. We are powerful and we choose how we want to exist in the world whether we are conscious of this or not.
Today I am healthy, strong, working on more lean and am much happier. Did I mention I was living in a hotel room when I decided to choose to think positive! I choose and retrained my brain to what I could do, with what I had at the time and chose not to focus on what I had lost. Yes, again I did it all from a little hotel room, no fancy things, nothing I owned, two cats, two people, depth of winter time and my thoughts of wholeness, strength and determination.
Finally, my dream was to move to CA for my entire life. Yup, I made that happen too. Now I am a California girl living in Ojai!
I still get worried. I still stress out about this and that. I worry about money, my kids, how I am going to pay my bills every month, etc. I still have moments of UGH, why am I stuck?? I want to lose this much more. I am human after all. The cool thing is that when I do have those thoughts, I move through them much faster. I can control me. I can control how I chose to be in the world and how I chose to react to it. I am choosing my legacy.
The mind… it is pretty powerful when we learn to use it to empower; not to dis-empower ourselves!