My Saturday morning wake up:
Do you fall into the either/or trap? I do!
You can have this one, or that one, but it can’t be both. You can have either this or that. Why? Why not?
Because we’re told from the time we’re little that we can have one or the other, but not both. When that happens it tells us that the universe is unable to give us both. We don’t realize it’s our parents way of trying to teach us something. In all fairness, they are trying to teach us decision making, self control, what they were taught to survive and how it all works, etc….yet our simple brain deducts the entire world is an either/or for everything, ever. We then fall into the limited thinking trap of either/or MUST be how the entire universe works as well. Boom!!! There’s the conditioning and a life long path of lack…..
As I try to push my way past this thinking, I am constantly reminded that “it will be this way or that way”, I can have either one, but both, don’t, and will never, go together.
For me, since moving to CA, it’s been “well if if I live in CA, then I’ll never have that because it is so expensive and there will be no way to have both so I better do either this or that in order to get that. So I either do this, or do that, in order to have that over there. It’s a constant mind screw of the either and the or’s and it’s exhausting, depressing, and flat out just maddening. The struggle is real.
Then there’s the either/or’s BFF, if. If I do this then that will happen. If I can at least do that then ________ (fill in the blank). If I do that instead…….. The crazy train of life continues. Lol
Talk about negative, self limiting and disastrous thoughts. Whoa!!!! Living in a head space with those little fellas will for sure make you super depressed.
Lately, I have been catching myself more and more in this horrible head space where nothing but limitations and self doubt lives. A place created by humanity, yet not meant for any type of higher connections to exist in.
It’s a castle built with great intentions, but filled with rooms of lies. There always is reality vs. idealism, yet maybe the idealism is kept alive by this UN realistic reality that we can not have both this and that. That our conditioning and fears of having both, or too much, have filled our castles where we live with non sense and other peoples conditioned responses to their world. Non of course taught to intentionally hurt us, and always taught so that as children we learn how to be in the world, but taught non the less.
The problem with that is it becomes our truth of what CAN be real and limits us for the rest of our lives. It creates a life of merely existing, but not thriving. It takes us out of the moment and into some dimension of a living hell where survival becomes the only thing we then know.
Well I am tired of the either/or belief system. I am tired of the struggle of what must be for this or that. I am really tired of not doing what I love because I will never have enough for that.
There are times we all HAVE to do what we “have to do” to survive. It is those moments that often teach the most. I respect and admire times like that for they give us appreciation, insights and learning experiences. God knows I have received them. God also knows I’m about done with them too. I know I am NOT here to survive, I am here to excel and thrive past even what I know to be possible.
I now need to believe. When there is nothing else we know of, I believe “belief” is what we have in our tool box to help set us free from the bondage of the either/or’s. That freedom will allow us to create.
But that’s just it….we get stuck within the survival and forget what we can create. We forget that we have helpers on the other side just waiting to drop down the rope and pull us out of the whole we fell into. In life there is always the fine act of balance. The either/or way of thinking does not lend itself to balance, it lends itself to the either/or.
In order to have the balance and shake the either/or thinking off, we must stay grounded, focused and clear. How do we do that? We breath. We relax. We willingly let go of the bullshit. We open our hearts up. We have to learn to trust. It’s so not easy. It’s so damn hard to do, but once we are able to finally understand the either/or phenomena, we are able to let it go and begin to create a life of passion, creativity, fullness and love. We Can begin to create a life we want, not want created from the fears and lies of the eithe/or’s.
The either/or’s are a crusty, old belief system that was meant to teach one thing, but our brains made it another. It’s not fluid. It is not full. It is not love it is fear.
It takes time, honesty, and a deep desire to live the life you truly want to recognize this. It takes the faith in what we can’t see and the courage to shake it off.
Sit with this. Absorb it. Be honest with yourself. Have you been living from the either/or’s and their BFF, if? I know I have! I really know I have….and I’m going to focus now on it. I’m going to recognize this thought and transform into something else more beautiful and wise.
When I go into this fear of either/or, I now can see it, and will tell it to get behind me. I know why it was taught, but today I choose the belief that it’s not either/or, but it’s why not have them both! My world; full, abundant, beautiful, passionate, creative, of service and loving….my way!