As hard as it is to admit…what we really don’t like about others is what we really don’t like about ourselves. Whether we’re at work, or in our personal lives, we all have people who push our buttons.

Often co-workers get on our nerves, we have bosses we just don’t like or respect, family member’s and friends who annoy us, and even cross paths with strangers in a store or restaurant who might rub us the wrong way.

Why? Because there’s something in them we just plan don’t like about ourselves. Maybe they’re passive aggressive and somewhere deep down we know that we have that trait within us, but are too afraid to admit it? Maybe they’re loud and disrespectful and you wish the would be more quiet and respectful to others? Maybe they’re awful listeners and just talk way too much? Maybe they’re always trying to prove their importance? Maybe they’re slightly dishonest? Maybe they’re bossy? Maybe they’re slackers and do not pull their own weight? Maybe they’re always trying to take the easy way out? Maybe they’re showoffs? Maybe they’re always seeking attention? Maybe they’re _________ and the list goes on and on and on.

By changing your perspective, you’re able to change your life. No one is saying you’re just like them. We’re all different and have varying degrees of many things within our being. The point is, if you don’t like it, it’s because you don’t like you. In order to change them, you need to change your perspective about yourself first. By being honest with yourself, you set your self free from the agonizing weight of the judgement(s) we hold on to about others.

This is about healing you. When you heal yourself, you’ll by default, heal the “judgement” or strong dislike to others as well. It’s at that point you can let it go and the annoyance will go away.

Here is a simple, yet not so simple, homework assignment for healing that part of you:

You need:

  • A stack of paper, journal or notebook
  • A pen
  1. Think of all the people in your life that have “push or have pushed your buttons.”
  2. Write their names down in a list form on the first sheet. Include coworkers, friends and family, even situations with strangers.
  3. After you have your list, dedicate one person per page by each giving them their own page.
  4. Then, one by one, write the things you didn’t, and don’t, like about them (or make it hard to be around). Write them down in a bullet or list type form. Draw a line under the last one.
  5. When you’re finished just sit with it until you are ready to do your own work.
  6. When you’re ready, on the same sheet write your name under the line . Under that, as honestly as you can, list the traits or the similarities (the ones you may have and not like) in common with each person. Don’t judge yourself, or them, as you write. Be an observer of yourself as you write this list.
  7. Don’t go back and read it until you have finished each person. When finished, as you read through each page, open your heart and your mind and be open to seeing yourself in a new way.
  8. As you read through your notes, know that there is no judgement about the way that you are, it is only a reflecting tool to see what it is that you might want to work on within yourself.
  9. Put them away and as you feel guided or triggered, pull out that persons sheet and re read it. This sheet will help you to see what part of you is being reflected for you to reexamine. By getting out the honest, sometimes not so pretty parts, you’re able to feel better, therefore do better in all aspects of your life. By letting go, you’ll feel lighter, freer, more creative, fulfilled and accomplished.
  10. Maybe start over and list all the wonderful people in your life and and what you share with them as well. 🙂

Reflections can be a scary thing. Yet, if we can be honest with ourselves in what we’re seeing, we can let the old feelings go bringing new and beautiful reflections in. It’s a honest way of healing ourselves by being honest enough to want to do better in life. It’s not as easy assignment and one many can not, or choose not, to do (don’t judge them lol).

We’re not here to be perfect. We’re just here to be the best versions of ourselves that we can be. Life is about remembering who we are and the only way to do that is to be willing enough to see ourselves naked in front of the mirror.